To my friend: the "former grand squire"

So nothing interesting has happened this week. I have been studying (or attempting to do so). There is nothing much that can happen while studying. Unless you are in the library on a Saturday night eating pizza in the social floor of the library when no one is there (there is no one there because it was SATURDAY night). Then you ramdomly start dancing to "Everytime we touch." However, this did not happen this week but it is sometimes interesting to do flashbacks when there is nothing else important happening in your life (we constantly have flashbacks and it seems to be the author's best friend). Therefore, I have decided to make up for my uninteresting week by having a flashback. So bring out the time machine cause we are going to rewind time to find out why my blog is called awkward beached whale. We have heard about awkward turtles and upside down ackward turtle (such overused references!). All I can tell you before my flashback is that anyone ever sees an ackward beached whale you would probably die of laughter (I have not had that experience but I can so imagine it). Also why would anyone ever use these references again? (EVER!).

Flashback:
Time: Two years back as an unsuspecting sophomore
The Players:
Me- Just call me Gabs (pretty easy!).
Former grand squire- Tall guy with glasses and a distinctive walk. Affinity towards houka, alcohol flasks, and Ignatian spirituality.
My little cute housemate- Very short but extremely huggable aka definition of cuteness. Probably wearing black boots. Does not like chocolate (tell me about it!)
Future Kenyan passport holder- Also extremely tall with long blond hair (very long blond hair!). Likes to wear black and scarfs. Wakes up at insanely early times and drinks lots and lots of coffee (like lots and lots). Other than being a jet-setter in the future will probably end up being a workaholic.
Former director of the COC-The definition of being a cloud of stress. Cloud 9 is for hapiness but the stress cloud she is in is completely different. We can call it Cloud 23.
Future female Yeats- Parents are from Northern Ireland who has been all around Ireland except Dublin (we know there is a rivalry between Northern Ireland and Southern Ireland but there is no excuse for why a Puerto Rican has gone to Dublin and she has not gone). Drinks even more coffee that the "future Kenyan passport holder." Does not carry an alcohol flask but would not be surprised if she did do it in the future and filled it with Baileys.
Toadbear- Name given to him by the "former grand squire" but I have never called him that despite his fluffy curly black hair.
Ginger cookie- Ditto but insert "red hair" into the equation.
Our Siberian-loving buddy- One of those persons that studies Russian and actually went to Russia despite not being Russian. I will keep on mentioning the Russian connection.

Scenario: Outside of the chapel after daily Mass (give it up for Catholic nerds!).

Future Kenyan passport holder: Remember this weeken when Gabs started dancing in the library?
Former director of the COC(laughing): I remember that. You were not going to let us study.
Me aka Gabs: I am a good study partner. Pizza does that to you.
Future Kenyan passport holder (looking at me skeptically): Do you eat pizza everyday because you always do stuff like that.
Me aka Gabs: Good point. I also like chocalate.
Toadbear: Wait a minute. When did this happen?
Me aka Gabs: On Saturday night.
Former grand squire: This Saturday I was drinking from my vodka flask with people while playing Wii. You guys are such losers.
Me aka Gabs: WOW. Next time I am just going to invade that party. I will start dancing like this (I start dancing).
Future female Yeats: It sounds like a great party (everyone laughs).
Our Siberian-loving buddy: Well at least cannot beat the ackwardness of dancing in the library. Gabs is the definition of an awkward turtle.
Future Kenyan passport holder: Nope. An awkward turtle is not enough.
My little cute future housemate: You mean an upside down awkward turtle.
Future Kenyan passport holder: Gabs is like an awkward beached whale.
Everyone looks at her dumfounded.
Ginger cookie: What is an awkward beached whale?
Future Kenyan passport holder: Is it a whale on the beach
Ginger cookie: Ohhhhh. It makes sense. She cannot really be explained by our traditional popular conceptions of everyday culture.
Former grand squire: Clearly. I cannot even pick her most awkward experience. There are so many.
Future Kenyan passport holder: This is why awkward turtle is not enough. She needs a special category.
Everyone laughs. We disperse to go back to our respective obligations. I went to the library but did no dancing (rule applies only for after midnight on Saturday nights).

Fast forward three weeks. The players are in the sacristy after the daily Mass (I reiterate I am a Catholic nerd) having chocolate chips cookies (or brownies... just pick your favorite baked good with chocolate). I had baked them (they were unfortunately not homemade but nevertheless delicious). As were we eating them and chatting away the "former grand squire" suddenly falls on the floor and start shaking. We start freaking out. I thought he was having a seizure. I tell the "future Kenyan passport holder" to help him (she was in the middle of EMT training so she must have known something... at least more than myself who cannot even see blood without freaking out). Everyone looks at the "former grand squire" concerned when suddenly he starts laughing. We all look at him as if he is a mad man (Why was he laughing in the middle of a seizure? Is that normal?). Suddenly he stands up and says to me: "You made a very awkward comment so I made an awkward beached whale." We all start laughing and nearly died from the laughter (I think that should be your reaction to seeing an awkward beached whale... however, a special shout out to the "future Kenyan passport holder"). It was such a priceless moment that everyone forgot my own awkward comment (Is that even possible? I guess so).

Anyway I must leave. Hopefully I will get some story to tell from my daily life and not continually pull out my time machine (Can excessive time travelling have bad effects on your health?) but before I must say: "Evacuate the dance floor."

Wait....

Bring out the time machine and forget "evacuate the dance floor." Instead as I leave I must say:

"Evacuate the computer room,
I'm infected with the silence,
stop, this typing is killing me,
Hey librarian turn on the sprinklers and let us stop this study party"